me talking to little kids: oh hey man wow I like your shoes they light up! No way I wish I had some like that, I bet they make you run so fast!!

me talking to older people: I'm not really sure what it is I want to do with my life, but I figure that as long as I'm happy it can't be that bad

me talking to people my age: well howdily doodily my fellow young people, what's hip hop happening over here? I'm just off to inject a meth and listen to an MTV if you youngsters are 'down' also haha look at that lingo, golly gosh what a time to be alive

lovurs:

i feel like leonardo dicaprio doesn’t care about his oscars as much as most tumblr users.

(via borinq)

DC: Wonder Woman is too difficult to find a movie audience for-

Marvel: YO YOU LIKE BLACK WIDOW? HERE SHE IS IN THE NEXT CAPTAIN AMERICA MOVIE WITH A TON OF SCREENTIME AND MAJOR ASSKICKING SKILLS

DC: We can't allow the lesbians in Batwoman to get married in the comic, sorry.

Marvel: HEY GUESS WHAT WE'RE GONNA FEATURE A GAY WEDDING ON THE COVER OF AN X-MEN ISSUE

DC: The new direction for storytelling needs to be dark, gritty, mature and cynical.

Marvel: DUDE CHECK IT OUT LOKI GOES SPEED DATING IS THAT NOT THE BEST SHIT EVER

DC: After years of rumors, the Superman/Batman movie is finally coming, but with a new actor and suit for Batman and MAYBE a cameo from Wonder Woman.

Marvel: PHASE 2 MOTHERFUCKERS EVERYONE IS IN EVERYONE'S MOVIE AND THERE AIN'T NO STOPPIN US NOW

DC: We can try to add maybe one or two 'people of color' to our lineup...maybe...

Marvel: NEW MS MARVEL THAT'S MUSLIM AMERICAN, BITCHES.

DC: We feel no problem with Batman's vengeful personality being like wet cardboard.

Marvel: NEW LATINA GHOST RIDER WHO SEEKS VENGEANCE WHILE TAKING HIS AWEET LIL BRO FOR ICE CREAM

DC: We can't mention any superhero titles in our movies, that's ridiculous.

Marvel: FUCK YEAH YOU WANT A RACOON VOICED BY BRADLEY COOPER WITH A GIANT GUN? YOU WANT VIN DIESEL PLAYING A TREE? AMY FUCKING POND PLAYING A SEXY BALD SPACE PIRATE? HERE YOU FUCKERS GO

DC: Our fanbase is mostly white males, I'm sure our focus is-

Marvel: NEW SHE HULK LINE WHERE SHE GOES TO COURT THEN SAVES NEW YORK

DC: Wait-

Marvel: NEW FEMALE THOR

DC: I didn't-

Marvel: NEW BLACK CAPTAIN AMERICA

Marvel: TAKE ALL THIS COOL SHIT MARVEL BE OUTIE

Marvel: PEACE